Holy $#!& my toddler said what?!

My toddler loves talking up a storm, but sometimes he can say the most inappropriate things! Right now he is so into clocks; whenever he sees one hanging on a wall, he’ll ask, “What time is it?” or point out, “There’s a clock!” He can even identify certain times of the day on the clock, like three, six, eight, nine, ten, and twelve o’clock. That’s all fair and good, except he hasn’t mastered the “two-consonants-in-a-row” sound of “CL” in “clocks,” so he ends up dropping the “L” sound. So whenever he says “clocks,” he drops the “L” and says… well, yeah… you get the gist. We try to act cool and on top of it even though we rolled our Ls out loud for as long as we could, “Oh, CLLLLLOCK.”

When my little guy was a few months old and wasn’t even saying real words, he would make funny guttural sounds with his throat and sometimes it ended up sounding like he was saying, “Die!” So I would be pushing him in his stroller in the grocery or a store, and he would screech at the top of his lungs, “DIE!” And I would tee-hee all embarrassed and smile so sweetly and angelically to others around me as if to prove that no, this is not a demon-baby in my stroller; he just has his funny sounds and sayings.

Thankfully he hasn’t said a curse word, although I can’t say the same for myself. I’m pretty good about not cursing in front of him, but sometimes a curse word makes it way out of my mouth when something is about to go wrong, like when I dropped a glass tupperware filled with chili and it shattered everywhere and I had to scoop up all the wasted food I had planned on eating and sweep and mop the glass shards (Just sayin’…).

Other times my toddler has repeated a few less-than-pleasant phrases from me (why is it always me and not his daddy? Hmm… could I be the potty mouth in the house?). I was driving in the car and some idiot driver pulled a crazy stunt so I said, “Oh, geez.” Right away I hear a cute little voice behind me say, “Oh, geez. Hahahahaha!” Or worse, I’ve said, “What the heck?” (and yes, I said “heck,” not “hell” thankfully). And my mini me repeats it: “What the heck? Hahaha! ‘What the heck!'” as if it is the funniest phrase ever.

What funny or embarrassing things have your kids said? Have your kids picked up on less-than-pleasant words from you?


8 thoughts on “Holy $#!& my toddler said what?!

    • Oh I know, and that was just mispronunciation! I can’t wait til he starts blurting out everything in his mind, eeks!

  1. Totally cracked me up! (Took me a while to get back here because I found your blog at the end of the work day so I marked it to read later, heh.)

    Oh, yeah, Emilia was way into clocks, too, before she could say the “L” sound. AND she also learned how to tell the dog to sit only her “S” sound sounded like “SH.” Some interesting times.

    Emilia has also picked up some things for me that are less than savory. I mean, I don’t really ever swear, but you realize even non-swears can sound pretty bad out of the mouth of babes. When I get mad at something, I now realize, I call it stupid, because Emilia imitates this exactly, and in the right context. It is kind of devastating to hear her get annoyed because she cannot figure out a puzzle for instance, and says, “You STUPID piece, where do you go?” UGH, mom fail! Heh heh.

  2. I can totally relate to this! A few months ago my daughter and I were seated at the kitchen table while my husband got dinner ready (lucky me!). My daughter (she’s 2) said, “I want a drink.” Except “drink” was missing the “r” and the “n” sounds. I thought it was just me, until I looked over at my husband across the room and the look on his face was priceless. I had to laugh. Needless to say, we are working on pronunciation. 😉

  3. Found this quite humourous. So far my almost 13 month old has said “hot damn” and “oh shit”…thankfully only once. I can trace influences for the second (not moi) but who says “hot damn?!” lol. Made my day though because I was getting all dolled up to go out, walk into the living room where my husband is playing with him and he waves his arms extravagantly when he looked at me and uttered those two unforgettable words.
    P.S. Thanks for stopping by my blog 🙂

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